empty boxes: 2015

Look at you

It's the end of 2015

and you've survived everything up until this point

and you're still here.

If that's not an accomplishment, I don't know what is

***

I've had this blog for over a year now, and even now, I have no idea where this all is going to go.
I still have no idea where I'll end up, what I'll end up writing, or who all is going to be here when
I do, but for the time being I'm really happy that I traded my notebooks and half dried pens for all
of you, and I'm so glad that you all have stayed to listen to my ramblings about bands and
my silly life and that you haven't jumped out of the boat, no matter how many ridiculous
obsessions I've acquired over the year.

I've watched a lot of you change and grow, and I've seen a lot of people come and go in the
community, but I'm proud of you all who have stayed and have learned a lot about yourself
and the people around you in the process.

As of the end of 2015, I have 67 followers, 20,000 pageviews, and 1,246 comments.
That's insane.
Coming from someone who never thought I'd get more than 1 follower or make it over
ten views in my little corner of the internet, that is absolutely insane and it means so much
just wow what do I even do with that information, have a hug and a cupcake, all of you

Anyway, it's been quite a while, but here is my little jar for 2015.

***

I've continued to work on my little jar project the past 12 months, and
it's actually gone quite well

To say the least, I've very proud of where I am now compared to the

mess I had buried myself under just a few short years ago.

I'm no longer overwhelmed by my silly, negative thoughts that I've left

far behind me in the dust, and have a whole new outlook on life.

In the words of The Great All Time Low, I like to tell myself that

I'm 'safe from the weight of the world' in a sense.

It's comforting for some reason

The whole purpose of this project was to keep myself from all those negative

thoughts and to learn to love myself for once in my life, and for the first time ever,

I'm honestly able to say that I am comfortable with my body and my mind.

Of course, little pieces of my old frame of mind will come crawling back to me

every once and while, but I'm finally strong enough to not let those

thoughts overwhelm me and keep me from living, and that means the absolute

world to me, you don't even know.

This year, I decided to fold all my little pieces of papers, with little happy moments

or events from every day of the year, into little stars, since stars in general have a

really special meaning to me after a big thing happened when I was little.

It's comforting in a strange way to watch this little jar fill up with little paper

things that would finally make me tear up at the end of the year with all the silly

things that I thought were exciting enough to write down before crashing in bed

for the night.

They weren't very big things, but they were very important all the same

I'm very happy to have collected all of my little stars, and I can't wait to continue

to do so for the next year.

Who knows where my next jar will take me.

I've read last year's New Year post over and over again the past 24 hours

in order to get some ideas for this year's big finish, but I ended up laughing

at Me From the Past, telling myself that there's no way 2015 could be any better than 2014.

Oh, younger me, you don't even know.

It's going to be so much better.

***

"Before I spam you with more firework gifs than anyone could ever ask for, I guess I should try and type up a list of resolutions/goals/reminders since this is really the only time of the year I'm motivated to improve myself. Wish me luck." -me, 2014

(google wants to edit 'gifs' to 'figs' and i cant stop laughing, why am i like this, i swear im 3)

This year I've decided to not write any resolutions or anything.

And that's not because I've failed last year's resolutions, because guess what??

I've accomplished all 16 goals from last year.

LADIES AND GENTS, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I'VE ACTUALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING. xD

But in all seriousness, my only goal for 2016 is to keep going. To keep exploring, keep

creating, and to keep learning. I've grown a whole lot in 2015, and the biggest thing I've

learned about myself this past year, is that if I want to grow, I can't force myself to learn

things and explore and have a good time, I have to let everything fall in place. As long as I'm

still here at the end of next year, that's all I could ever hope for.

BUT IF YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO SPAM ALL YOU LOVELY

MUFFINS WITH FIREWORK GIFS (*figs), YOU ARE SO VERY WRONG MY FRIEND.

***

Have a wonderful year, you guys.

I've had the best year I could've ever hoped for, and I've got so much more to

explore, and I hope you all get to do plenty of that yourselves.

Go make things, go listen to some music, go find new artists, go fall in love with

yourself and other people, go share ideas and learn about the world, and travel, and everything.

Just go do everything, that sounds good.

Just take care of yourselves out there in the big world, okay?

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

-Neil Gaiman

Have a wonderful year, lovelies. <3 <3 <3

AND DON'T FORGE TO EAT LOTS OF FRUIT (ESPECIALLY PINEAPPLE)

DON'T DO DRUGS, STAY IN SCHOOL

AND READ A LOVELY BOOK FOR ME