so before school actually starts,
usually a couple weeks before the first day, I get to tag along with my family
to buy school supplies and cry into bowls of ice cream (especially this year,
because I get to cry about college stuff). Thankfully, I still have a good week
yet before that happens, but since August is the month when most people start
heading off to their first week of classes, I decided to write a totally legit
tutorial on getting yourself ready to get back to school, inspired by
Tadelesmith. Also, quick note, I wrote this in July right before I left to go
on that one trip and never actually edited anything before posting, so if
there’s any horrible typos or errors in general, I’m sorry, please bear with
me.
~ ~ ~
STEP ONE: PREPARATION – buying school
supplies
Buying school supplies is
actually the best part of getting ready for school in my opinion because heck
yeah new pencils and fabulous blank notebooks and all that crap, the only
actual thing to worry about at this time is running into old “friends” from
school last year. In attempt to woo these people, showing them all how much
cooler you have gotten over the summer months, I suggest dressing yourself in
the latest “trendy” outfits, wearing dark glasses, and surrounding yourself
with bodyguards to avoid getting beat up. Or, if you’re like me and are too
lazy to go to all that trouble, you can just show up in your pajamas to show
the world how you’ve really been
living the past couple months.
This works
too
STEP TWO: GOING TO THE STORE
Go to the nearest Staples,
Target, Walmart (if u do go to Walmart pls say hi to me. Ill be hiding with the
squirrels in the nearest trash can), or wherever your family drags you as you
sob, still in your pajamas. Pick out the cheapest pack of pencils and
notebooks, because your mom told you that we’re on a budget and $7.99 is
absolutely ridiculous for a notebook you’re just going to be using to glue down
pictures of Gerard Way to stare at while in science, while checking off the
items on the supplies list with the cheesy cartoon pencil border your school
gave to you to make sure you’re totally prepared for the year.
STEP THREE: REGRET
You should be about halfway done
picking out all of your school supplies and you don’t think this is going all
that bad and you’re just about to go down the other aisle to get a spray can of
Bob’s Boys-Be-Gone for the year when one of the popular girls from your school
who laughed at you when you got water up your nose when getting a drink at the
water fountain comes around the corner, talking to her friend. Hide behind one
of those big displays of pens they have in the middle of the aisles that always
block your parents’ carts and grab as many sharpies you can get your hands on.
Immediately draw a mustache and various stripes and dots on yourself in order to make yourself
completely unrecognizable. In fact, just draw all over yourself. Go wild.
Because let’s be honest, you’re probably going to be doing this to yourself
halfway through the year anyway during your biannual ‘I’m supposed to be
studying for finals but I can’t even see straight anymore’ breakdowns. Might as
well start early this year.
STEP FOUR: RETREAT
As soon as the girls are at a
safe 50 mile distance away from you, emerge from your sharpie pen fort and look
for your mom who, probably at this point, has already checked out and left you.
On your way, head to the ice cream isle. It’s the end of summer, so they should
have a good 20% off sale going on about now. Grab as many tubs of ice cream you
can get. Scratch that. Just sit inside in freezer and eat the ice cream right
out of the tub while sobbing.
STEP FIVE: ESCAPE
At this point, you’ll probably
realize that you’d probably make a better living selling hot dogs on the side
of the road than you would crying in a classroom over a test packet. Go to the
nearest costume shop and buy yourself a good disguise. Acquire a brand new
identity and run away to first jungle you can find on Vacation.com and start
building your treehouse to live with the monkeys. Goodbye Civilization.
~ ~ ~
(inspired by)
some of you are already in school
be careful out there, brave soldiers
Who knows what this post was. xD
But really, good luck all of you this year, whether you're going into 4th grade, 8th grade, or 10th grade, or just preparing for uni, I really hope you all have a wonderful year.
Just don't get murdered, I need someone to join my 'Cry Over Bands With Me' club and I have like 2 friends irl. xD
I start next week, so my blogging schedule may go from 'a new post every hour when she needs to be studying' to 'is she still alive' so no promises that I will get much on here the next nine months, but we'll see how this all goes.
ANYWHO, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY
DRINK LOTS OF WATER FOR ME
EAT LOTS OF PINEAPPLES
STAY IN SCHOOL, DONT MURDER ANYONE
AND HAVE A FABULOUS DAY <3
