Take a chill pill, your honor

(a much better quality, actually finished version of this will be coming once life calms down)

 I call this piece "When you have roughly 5,603 missed calls and voicemails to answer and probably ~3,000,000,000 emails you really should've answered a long time ago and you ~kinda~ feel like slingshotting yourself into the sun, but you CAN'T because you promised you would babysit tonight and you have about 17 different people who are angry at you who you should've apologized to about three years ago, but you haven't because, you know, that one meeting you had to go to and then you had a whole long apology written up and then you were too scared to send it and then you  f o r g o t  because you fell asleep and then had to go to your brother's spelling bee competition and then your family decided to go on vacation at the worst time possible because you have finals due in like two weeks and you haven't even started studying, but your friend you haven't talked to in a while messages you and you end up talking for hours and by the end of that it's Sunday again and you realize tomorrow's Monday and you just sort of"

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Sunday nights can be a little rough remembering that you have a whole week ahead of you, and judging from what a lot of you have said in the past week, I feel like a lot of you could use a hug. I really hope you guys doing okay out there, I really hope this week is better for you.

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this week's playlist
My Fault - Imagine Dragons | Berlin - RY X | Love - Daughter | She Had The World - Panic! at the Disco | Home - Johnnyswim | Flesh and Bone - Keaton Henson | You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Keaton Henson | One of Those Things - Tom Rosenthal and Paul Haworth | Journey OST

my favorite things I've overhead strangers say

"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

"You're not 'telling it like it is' you're telling it how you see it."

"So tell me, what is curiosity not?"

"Everyone's art is beautiful in their own way because its something we put a bit of our souls in."

"Why are you lying about not having a heart? I've seen it."

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My favorite thing about going to an online school was that I got to spend the majority of my time in various coffee shops and libraries to do my work. I feel like I've learned more about people by eavesdropping conversations more than I ever will in a school of a group of exhausted, agonized teens, but I still feel like I should learn to stop listening in on other people's business so often. One day I'll learn

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this week's playlist
Dial Tones - AS IT IS | Fast Car - Tracy Chapman | Be Good - Max Brodie and Tom Rosenthal | How To Never Stop Being Sad - dandelion hands | Every Age - Jose Gonzales | Plant Life - Owl City | Flowers Bloom - High Highs | Fear and Loathing - Marina and the Diamonds | Float On - Modest Mouse | The World At Large - Modest Mouse | No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses | Coming Home Part II - Skylar Grey | Homewrecker - Marina and the Diamonds | Constellations - Tom Odell | Misguided Ghosts - Paramore | Jesus Christ - Brand New | The entire Folie album
(the transition between The World At Large and Float On and the meaning behind those two songs and that whole album makes me so incredibly happy. I love those songs so, so much, wow)

end of the day - one direction

this song is great because a.) it puts me in a really giddy, happy mood and b.) me liking this song contradicts everything I said about how pop music was awful, blah blah blah, and all that when I was in 6th grade (I know you were still learning, 6th Grade Me, but hoo boy your whole 'I'm not like other girls' attitude was really unnecessary) so jokes on you, 6th Grade Me

Anyway, this is the beginning of 'Project Atlas', something I will be talking about soon? I'm not sure when?? I don't have the post ready yet, I meant to post that one before this one, but I finished this first and was way too excited about it to wait, so here it is. You should see the placeholder picture for the other post

I tried really hard

That's all I got for today. I hope your week is going well so far and that finals are going well for you all, the years almost over, you got this (at least in America, everywhere else, good luck man) And since it's been actual months, for old times' sake,

DON'T FORGET TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER

EAT LOTS OF PINEAPPLE AND FRUIT, STAY HEALTHY KIDS

AND READ A WONDERFUL BOOK FOR ME

(and happy mothers day!!)

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this week's playlist

Send My Love (to your new lover) - Adele | End of the Day - One Direction | Addict With a Pen - Twenty One Pilots | You Are More - Tenth Avenue North | Ships In The Night - Mat Kearney | Over My Head - The Fray | When You Can't Sleep At Night - Of Mice and Men | Touch - Sleeping At Last | In The Absence of Everything, I Promise to Keep You Warn - Flatsound | Tiny Glowing Screens Part II - Watsky | What It Costs - Switchfoot | R.I.P. 2 My Youth - The Neighborhood | The World At Large - Modest Mouse | The Calendar - Panic! at the Disco | Landslide - Oh Wonder

Getting better at getting better.

Day 119 - 7:59am
This week I am getting better at getting better. This week I learned that change is constant and growth is not always linear (in fact, it rarely ever is). I am not always going to see my progress and at times that will kill me and there will always be things out there that will knock me all the way back to square one, but that doesn't mean I'm still not growing in ways I can't see.

This month I reevaluated my list of people I look up to, for I realized that the majority of the people I idolized before are actually just like everyone else plus a cupful of arrogance. The people I look up to now are very ordinary with dashes of extraordinary; the girl learning to accept herself, my parents who put others first as a living, the teacher who always stood her ground and fought for what she knew was right, the other girl who sees the world through hopeful eyes, and another that is kind before she is right. These are my idols. These are the people I need to be.

These past few months I learned to ask for help. I finally asked for help recently, something I've been needing for a very long time, and though the result of my asking for help wasn't my first choice, by the end of the meeting that day we all agreed that it was what was best for me, for I have been given far too many second chances that I did not deserve. Nor do I deserve this one. In January, I viewed this whole thing as The End. It's Over. There's Nothing Left. and it was one of the main things that contributed to my hiatus of this blog and my hiding from everyone I care about. But I have help now, and I am going to use what I have left of this year and the help that I've been given to make it up to all the people who gave me second chances I didn't deserve.

The most important thing that I've learned this year is to take care of things close to home before anything else; to clean your room before setting out to save the world. and I am choosing to interpret the fact that nothing else is getting better on its own as a sign that I am the thing that needs to get better first. This year so far has been pretty rough, not gonna lie. Thankfully, we're not even halfway through this year anyway; there's still time for everything to get better. All the same, there's far too many things I need to fix, and I'm having a hard time with my priorities right now. I apologize to everything/one else I've neglected the past few months; everything's a bit of a wreck right now.

I wish things didn't have to change like this, and I'm really going to miss all the people here, but

I know I made a promise last year that I broke and I'll never forgive myself if I break it again.

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this week's playlist
Tenerife Sea - Ed Sheeran | Inside out - Eve 6 | ILYSB - LANY | Lying to You - Keaton Henson | You Are My Sunshine - The Civil Wars | November -  Sleeping With Sirens | Blood Bank - Bon Iver | Goner - Twenty One Pilots | VCR - The xx | The Moon Song - Karen O and Ezra Koenig | There Will Be Time - Mumford & Sons | Cardiac Arrest - Bad Suns | Breezeblocks - alt-j

● Day 123 ●

it's days like these that make me feel really lucky to be alive.

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I've been doing this thing on my side blog on tumblr this year where every day
I post a photo/photoset of pictures of that day. It's sort of a photojournal I guess? They're all very simple, but I love sharing them so much. Anyway, I decided
to post some on here too. Not every single day, but maybe just a couple of my favorites from that month or something like that, we'll see how this all turns out.

also, I have a challenge if any of you are currently out of post inspiration/just feel like procrastinating and going through your own pictures: sum up the world the best you can with only ten pictures in your camera roll

I hope you all are having a great day out there <3

this week's playlist

Matomrie - Baptiste & Monta | Take Your Guess (alternative version) - Tom Rosenthal | Things That Stop You Dreaming - Passenger | Wildflowers - Tom Petty | Pstereo - Emilie Nicolas | Peaches - In The Valley Below | Art School Wannabe - Sorority Noise | The Night Will Save Us - The Strumbellas | anywayican - WALK THE MOON | Give Me A Try - The Wombats | The Village, The Wolf and The Boy - Taylor Berrett | In The Morning - Keaton Henson | Rain Clouds - The Arcadian Wild | I Am - AWOLNATION | Seeing Stars - BORNS | Don't Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers + Daya | Symphonia IX (My Wait Is U) - Grimes | Drifting - On An On | About The Weather - Tom Rosenthal | Half The World Away - AURORA | The Mason - Tossing Copper | Lying to You - Keaton Henson

(I have over 100 songs in this playlist actually, so if you want to see them all here it is. I'm working on trying to avoid making the playlist longer than the post itself)