Farewell, 2015

Look at you

It's the end of 2015

 and you've survived everything up until this point

and you're still here.

 If that's not an accomplishment, I don't know what is

***

I've had this blog for over a year now, and even now, I have no idea where this all is going to go.
I still have no idea where I'll end up, what I'll end up writing, or who all is going to be here when
I do, but for the time being I'm really happy that I traded my notebooks and half dried pens for all
of you, and I'm so glad that you all have stayed to listen to my ramblings about bands and
my silly life and that you haven't jumped out of the boat, no matter how many ridiculous
obsessions I've acquired over the year.

I've watched a lot of you change and grow, and I've seen a lot of people come and go in the
community, but I'm proud of you all who have stayed and have learned a lot about yourself
and the people around you in the process.

As of the end of 2015, I have 67 followers, 20,000 pageviews, and 1,246 comments.
That's insane.
Coming from someone who never thought I'd get more than 1 follower or make it over
ten views in my little corner of the internet, that is absolutely insane and it means so much
just wow what do I even do with that information, have a hug and a cupcake, all of you

Anyway, it's been quite a while, but here is my little jar for 2015.

***

I've continued to work on my little jar project the past 12 months, and
it's actually gone quite well

To say the least, I've very proud of where I am now compared to the 

mess I had buried myself under just a few short years ago.

I'm no longer overwhelmed by my silly, negative thoughts that I've left

far behind me in the dust, and have a whole new outlook on life.

In the words of The Great All Time Low, I like to tell myself that

I'm 'safe from the weight of the world' in a sense. 

It's comforting for some reason

The whole purpose of this project was to keep myself from all those negative

thoughts and to learn to love myself for once in my life, and for the first time ever,

I'm honestly able to say that I am comfortable with my body and my mind.

Of course, little pieces of my old frame of mind will come crawling back to me

every once and while, but I'm finally strong enough to not let those

thoughts overwhelm me and keep me from living, and that means the absolute

world to me, you don't even know.

This year, I decided to fold all my little pieces of papers, with little happy moments

or events from every day of the year, into little stars, since stars in general have a 

really special meaning to me after a big thing happened when I was little.

It's comforting in a strange way to watch this little jar fill up with little paper

things that would finally make me tear up at the end of the year with all the silly

things that I thought were exciting enough to write down before crashing in bed 

for the night.

They weren't very big things, but they were very important all the same

I'm very happy to have collected all of my little stars, and I can't wait to continue

to do so for the next year.

Who knows where my next jar will take me.

I've read last year's New Year post over and over again the past 24 hours

in order to get some ideas for this year's big finish, but I ended up laughing

at Me From the Past, telling myself that there's no way 2015 could be any better than 2014.

Oh, younger me, you don't even know.

It's going to be so much better.

***

"Before I spam you with more firework gifs than anyone could ever ask for, I guess I should try and type up a list of resolutions/goals/reminders since this is really the only time of the year I'm motivated to improve myself. Wish me luck." -me, 2014

(google wants to edit 'gifs' to 'figs' and i cant stop laughing, why am i like this, i swear im 3)

This year I've decided to not write any resolutions or anything.

And that's not because I've failed last year's resolutions, because guess what??

I've accomplished all 16 goals from last year.

LADIES AND GENTS, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I'VE ACTUALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING. xD

But in all seriousness, my only goal for 2016 is to keep going. To keep exploring, keep

creating, and to keep learning. I've grown a whole lot in 2015, and the biggest thing I've

learned about myself this past year, is that if I want to grow, I can't force myself to learn

things and explore and have a good time, I have to let everything fall in place. As long as I'm 

still here at the end of next year, that's all I could ever hope for.

BUT IF YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO SPAM ALL YOU LOVELY

MUFFINS WITH FIREWORK GIFS (*figs), YOU ARE SO VERY WRONG MY FRIEND.

***

***

Have a wonderful year, you guys.

I've had the best year I could've ever hoped for, and I've got so much more to

explore, and I hope you all get to do plenty of that yourselves.

Go make things, go listen to some music, go find new artists, go fall in love with

yourself and other people, go share ideas and learn about the world, and travel, and everything.

Just go do everything, that sounds good.

Just take care of yourselves out there in the big world, okay? 

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” 

-Neil Gaiman

Have a wonderful year, lovelies. <3 <3 <3

AND DON'T FORGE TO EAT LOTS OF FRUIT (ESPECIALLY PINEAPPLE)

DON'T DO DRUGS, STAY IN SCHOOL

AND READ A LOVELY BOOK FOR ME

HAPPY 2016 MY LITTLE MUFFINS

<3

***

back to school (a totally legit tutorial)

so before school actually starts, usually a couple weeks before the first day, I get to tag along with my family to buy school supplies and cry into bowls of ice cream (especially this year, because I get to cry about college stuff). Thankfully, I still have a good week yet before that happens, but since August is the month when most people start heading off to their first week of classes, I decided to write a totally legit tutorial on getting yourself ready to get back to school, inspired by Tadelesmith. Also, quick note, I wrote this in July right before I left to go on that one trip and never actually edited anything before posting, so if there’s any horrible typos or errors in general, I’m sorry, please bear with me.

~     ~     ~

STEP ONE: PREPARATION – buying school supplies

Buying school supplies is actually the best part of getting ready for school in my opinion because heck yeah new pencils and fabulous blank notebooks and all that crap, the only actual thing to worry about at this time is running into old “friends” from school last year. In attempt to woo these people, showing them all how much cooler you have gotten over the summer months, I suggest dressing yourself in the latest “trendy” outfits, wearing dark glasses, and surrounding yourself with bodyguards to avoid getting beat up. Or, if you’re like me and are too lazy to go to all that trouble, you can just show up in your pajamas to show the world how you’ve really been living the past couple months.

This works too

STEP TWO: GOING TO THE STORE

Go to the nearest Staples, Target, Walmart (if u do go to Walmart pls say hi to me. Ill be hiding with the squirrels in the nearest trash can), or wherever your family drags you as you sob, still in your pajamas. Pick out the cheapest pack of pencils and notebooks, because your mom told you that we’re on a budget and $7.99 is absolutely ridiculous for a notebook you’re just going to be using to glue down pictures of Gerard Way to stare at while in science, while checking off the items on the supplies list with the cheesy cartoon pencil border your school gave to you to make sure you’re totally prepared for the year.

STEP THREE: REGRET

You should be about halfway done picking out all of your school supplies and you don’t think this is going all that bad and you’re just about to go down the other aisle to get a spray can of Bob’s Boys-Be-Gone for the year when one of the popular girls from your school who laughed at you when you got water up your nose when getting a drink at the water fountain comes around the corner, talking to her friend. Hide behind one of those big displays of pens they have in the middle of the aisles that always block your parents’ carts and grab as many sharpies you can get your hands on. Immediately draw a mustache and various stripes and dots on yourself in order to make yourself completely unrecognizable. In fact, just draw all over yourself. Go wild. Because let’s be honest, you’re probably going to be doing this to yourself halfway through the year anyway during your biannual ‘I’m supposed to be studying for finals but I can’t even see straight anymore’ breakdowns. Might as well start early this year.

STEP FOUR: RETREAT

As soon as the girls are at a safe 50 mile distance away from you, emerge from your sharpie pen fort and look for your mom who, probably at this point, has already checked out and left you. On your way, head to the ice cream isle. It’s the end of summer, so they should have a good 20% off sale going on about now. Grab as many tubs of ice cream you can get. Scratch that. Just sit inside in freezer and eat the ice cream right out of the tub while sobbing.

STEP FIVE: ESCAPE

At this point, you’ll probably realize that you’d probably make a better living selling hot dogs on the side of the road than you would crying in a classroom over a test packet. Go to the nearest costume shop and buy yourself a good disguise. Acquire a brand new identity and run away to first jungle you can find on Vacation.com and start building your treehouse to live with the monkeys. Goodbye Civilization.  

~     ~     ~

(inspired by)

some of you are already in school

be careful out there, brave soldiers

Who knows what this post was. xD

But really, good luck all of you this year, whether you're going into 4th grade, 8th grade, or 10th grade, or just preparing for uni, I really hope you all have a wonderful year. 

Just don't get murdered, I need someone to join my 'Cry Over Bands With Me' club and I have like 2 friends irl. xD

I start next week, so my blogging schedule may go from 'a new post every hour when she needs to be studying' to 'is she still alive' so no promises that I will get much on here the next nine months, but we'll see how this all goes.

ANYWHO, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

DRINK LOTS OF WATER FOR ME

EAT LOTS OF PINEAPPLES

STAY IN SCHOOL, DONT MURDER ANYONE

AND HAVE A FABULOUS DAY <3