mood: "be happy like dogs"

can you believe that these boys are real and travelling the world making incredible things and inspiring people everywhere? some days i'm really happy that stressed out got popular just so

the world can know my boys

the funny thing is about these kinds of disjointed posts is the older i get, the less purpose 

or value i see in them, and yet i want to do more because they've become one of the few things

 in my life that actually need any structure or a monumental amount of effort, y'know?

a.k.a. there's no such thing as wasted time as long as it makes you happy and builds you up

she says, wistfully staring at the pile of work shes supposed to be doing.

things that have happened + life lessons from the past couple months or so:

1. prom(ish) i guess was a thing?? except the theme was an anti-prom kind of thing, so that was a wild experience.

2. witnessing josh dun in a hamster ball was probably the greatest thing that has ever happened

3. speaking in front of groups larger than 40 people is spooky scary, but do it anyway. or just slap down a massive blank sheet of paper and markers and tell the group to say what they appreciate in life, because nobody has the time to put in the effort to be inspirational

4. walking through airports on your own is wild and actually incredible sometimes

5. getting slapped in the face with the realization that the people who get to see the people they love every day are so so incredibly lucky hurts but sometimes is necessary

6. basketball season was a thing that happened and is now over and im a lil bit sad about that

7. I SAW A MUSICAL. AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE. IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, IT IS BEAUTIFUL. 

8. drawing with ink pens is difficult and art classes often make me feel like crying, but i'm learning to be positive from my drawing partner and she's becoming the reason i look forward to art now

9. two hour phone calls back home to your parents can actually be fun. appreciate the people around you, kids

because i dont remember exactly what i used to put in these posts, have some things from my picture folders

in case you didnt know, this is my idol right here

and heres a few tweets from an archive of the most innocent corners of the internet years ago

appreciate the boiling parsnip owl with me

and one of my many favorite messages ever.

_    _    _

its strange when you go back to the place you call home and suddenly feel homesick for the

place you were dreading being sent off too. sometimes its difficult to pinpoint exactly what i

call home with memories pinned to all these distinct places on this earth.

anywho, i made this post a while ago and now i'm supposed to be doing homework again but

dorms are loud and eating spicy noodles while staring at the stars while talking with people you care about a whole lot is so much more important, so hello!!!

things are well.

the old stars are back.

and so are some old wonderful feelings

and these spicy noodles are making my eyes water.

i hope you are doing well.

appreciate the people around you, kids. no matter where you are in the world, with the way we live in this era, home is always closer than you think.

Take a chill pill, your honor

(a much better quality, actually finished version of this will be coming once life calms down)

 I call this piece "When you have roughly 5,603 missed calls and voicemails to answer and probably ~3,000,000,000 emails you really should've answered a long time ago and you ~kinda~ feel like slingshotting yourself into the sun, but you CAN'T because you promised you would babysit tonight and you have about 17 different people who are angry at you who you should've apologized to about three years ago, but you haven't because, you know, that one meeting you had to go to and then you had a whole long apology written up and then you were too scared to send it and then you  f o r g o t  because you fell asleep and then had to go to your brother's spelling bee competition and then your family decided to go on vacation at the worst time possible because you have finals due in like two weeks and you haven't even started studying, but your friend you haven't talked to in a while messages you and you end up talking for hours and by the end of that it's Sunday again and you realize tomorrow's Monday and you just sort of"

_          _          _

Sunday nights can be a little rough remembering that you have a whole week ahead of you, and judging from what a lot of you have said in the past week, I feel like a lot of you could use a hug. I really hope you guys doing okay out there, I really hope this week is better for you.

_          _          _

this week's playlist
My Fault - Imagine Dragons | Berlin - RY X | Love - Daughter | She Had The World - Panic! at the Disco | Home - Johnnyswim | Flesh and Bone - Keaton Henson | You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Keaton Henson | One of Those Things - Tom Rosenthal and Paul Haworth | Journey OST

My Safe Places

~     ☁     ~

peej liguori

cavetown

twenty one pilots

trees

stars

morning sun rays

the ocean

sunflowers

books

art

journey

my little glass house

blue neighborhood

youtube

you.


◇      ◇      ◇


things I've been listening to:
All I Want - Kodaline // The Cave - Mumford and Sons // Smile - Mikky Ekko // A Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie // Ink - Coldplay // Bad Habit - The Kooks // La Vie En Rose - Daniela Andrade // Taxi Cab - Twenty One Pilots // Banana Bread - Cavetown // Say It - Houndmouth // Sound - The 1975 // All Is Well - Austin Basham // Heaven - Troye Sivan


((please don't take my photos, thank you <3 <3))
(((p.s. guess who finally updated her art page for the first time in 300 years)))

Farewell, 2015

Look at you

It's the end of 2015

 and you've survived everything up until this point

and you're still here.

 If that's not an accomplishment, I don't know what is

***

I've had this blog for over a year now, and even now, I have no idea where this all is going to go.
I still have no idea where I'll end up, what I'll end up writing, or who all is going to be here when
I do, but for the time being I'm really happy that I traded my notebooks and half dried pens for all
of you, and I'm so glad that you all have stayed to listen to my ramblings about bands and
my silly life and that you haven't jumped out of the boat, no matter how many ridiculous
obsessions I've acquired over the year.

I've watched a lot of you change and grow, and I've seen a lot of people come and go in the
community, but I'm proud of you all who have stayed and have learned a lot about yourself
and the people around you in the process.

As of the end of 2015, I have 67 followers, 20,000 pageviews, and 1,246 comments.
That's insane.
Coming from someone who never thought I'd get more than 1 follower or make it over
ten views in my little corner of the internet, that is absolutely insane and it means so much
just wow what do I even do with that information, have a hug and a cupcake, all of you

Anyway, it's been quite a while, but here is my little jar for 2015.

***

I've continued to work on my little jar project the past 12 months, and
it's actually gone quite well

To say the least, I've very proud of where I am now compared to the 

mess I had buried myself under just a few short years ago.

I'm no longer overwhelmed by my silly, negative thoughts that I've left

far behind me in the dust, and have a whole new outlook on life.

In the words of The Great All Time Low, I like to tell myself that

I'm 'safe from the weight of the world' in a sense. 

It's comforting for some reason

The whole purpose of this project was to keep myself from all those negative

thoughts and to learn to love myself for once in my life, and for the first time ever,

I'm honestly able to say that I am comfortable with my body and my mind.

Of course, little pieces of my old frame of mind will come crawling back to me

every once and while, but I'm finally strong enough to not let those

thoughts overwhelm me and keep me from living, and that means the absolute

world to me, you don't even know.

This year, I decided to fold all my little pieces of papers, with little happy moments

or events from every day of the year, into little stars, since stars in general have a 

really special meaning to me after a big thing happened when I was little.

It's comforting in a strange way to watch this little jar fill up with little paper

things that would finally make me tear up at the end of the year with all the silly

things that I thought were exciting enough to write down before crashing in bed 

for the night.

They weren't very big things, but they were very important all the same

I'm very happy to have collected all of my little stars, and I can't wait to continue

to do so for the next year.

Who knows where my next jar will take me.

I've read last year's New Year post over and over again the past 24 hours

in order to get some ideas for this year's big finish, but I ended up laughing

at Me From the Past, telling myself that there's no way 2015 could be any better than 2014.

Oh, younger me, you don't even know.

It's going to be so much better.

***

"Before I spam you with more firework gifs than anyone could ever ask for, I guess I should try and type up a list of resolutions/goals/reminders since this is really the only time of the year I'm motivated to improve myself. Wish me luck." -me, 2014

(google wants to edit 'gifs' to 'figs' and i cant stop laughing, why am i like this, i swear im 3)

This year I've decided to not write any resolutions or anything.

And that's not because I've failed last year's resolutions, because guess what??

I've accomplished all 16 goals from last year.

LADIES AND GENTS, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I'VE ACTUALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING. xD

But in all seriousness, my only goal for 2016 is to keep going. To keep exploring, keep

creating, and to keep learning. I've grown a whole lot in 2015, and the biggest thing I've

learned about myself this past year, is that if I want to grow, I can't force myself to learn

things and explore and have a good time, I have to let everything fall in place. As long as I'm 

still here at the end of next year, that's all I could ever hope for.

BUT IF YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO SPAM ALL YOU LOVELY

MUFFINS WITH FIREWORK GIFS (*figs), YOU ARE SO VERY WRONG MY FRIEND.

***

***

Have a wonderful year, you guys.

I've had the best year I could've ever hoped for, and I've got so much more to

explore, and I hope you all get to do plenty of that yourselves.

Go make things, go listen to some music, go find new artists, go fall in love with

yourself and other people, go share ideas and learn about the world, and travel, and everything.

Just go do everything, that sounds good.

Just take care of yourselves out there in the big world, okay? 

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” 

-Neil Gaiman

Have a wonderful year, lovelies. <3 <3 <3

AND DON'T FORGE TO EAT LOTS OF FRUIT (ESPECIALLY PINEAPPLE)

DON'T DO DRUGS, STAY IN SCHOOL

AND READ A LOVELY BOOK FOR ME

HAPPY 2016 MY LITTLE MUFFINS

<3

***

Did you hear the news today?

There are seven billion people floating on a rock in the middle of space, and

continue to make each other laugh and cry and bury seeds of inspiration into 

their hearts

A baby was born today. Hundreds of them. Hundreds of little lives that will

one day grow to learn to explore and cherish the world and will change the lives

of all the people around them in their own little ways

Someone got married today. And their parents cried. So did their siblings and

neighbors and their great uncles and grandparents. They all sang and danced

and threw rice and flowers and kissed each others' cheeks before the couple

set off on an adventure of their own

Somebody right now, right at this moment is sitting in their bedroom writing

a story that will change not only the perspective of a reader one day, but the 

entire life of the writer themselves

In a place far, far away from here, someone looked in the mirror today and

accepted their body and their soul for what it is and promised themselves 

that everything will be alright

Somewhere in the world someone finally left the hospital after a terrible 

accident. They are able to walk again and are hugging their family and friends

and dancing around in circles with joy

And this morning someone got up early, when the stars begin to fade and the 

world is grey, just to go see the sunrise with a friend. They talked about the

meaning of life together and shared stories under the brilliant saturated sky 

before going back to their regular lives

Did you hear?

A miracle continues to happen every day

A quaint little rock in the middle of an undiscovered world continues

to spin around, dancing along with others around a wild flame that keeps

them warm. And every day on that little rock, people fall in love.

People learn secrets.

People are inspired and create and share things.

People finish goals and learn new emotions and continue to explore.

Tell the good news

Go tell everyone what happened today

~     ☁     ~

"If you could only see what you're not seeing! If you could only take in all the complex

layers of horrors that lie just beyond your range of sight. 

If you could only see the world as it really is; it is awful, and on fire, and beautiful."

-welcome to night vale

Wishes

I wish I was one of those people who saw the beauty in everything.

I wish I wasn't so blind to see the sparkles in people's eyes whenever they smile,

and I wish I could see the sparkles on the rivers and feel the soft breezes that everyone 

is always talking about.

I wish I was brave enough to compliment the girl I walked past at the store last week, and

I wish I would stop looking down on so many people.

I wish I wasn't such a bitter soul, and I wish I was more eager to share the things that I love.

I wish I didn't talk about myself so much, and I wish that I was more empathetic.

I wish that I took more time out of my day for others, that I wasn't so self centered,

and that I knew how to help people when they're hurt and helpless.

I wish I could live life from a new perspective and see all the wonderful things that 

other people get to see and the magic in every little piece of the world.

I wish I was a better person.

And I wish I didn't have to wish that I was a better person.

~     ~     ~

If you couldn't already tell, this was a call-out post for myself for being such an ignorant butt. xD

I've met so many wonderful people in my time, ones who can simply look around them

and find beauty in everything and see hope in every person they meet and are able

to pluck little pieces of light out of people and turn it into a poem or a piece of art.

And every time I meet one of those people, I can't help but feel jealous, which 

I hate. If I were to be granted one wish, I would want to have the mindset of those

kinds of people. The ones that smile at everyone they pass on the street and make

everyone feel better. 

One day I'll learn.


~     ~     ~


I hope you all have been having a wonderful week so far and that everything is going
well!! Don't forget to eat lots of fruit and to drink lots of water and also to read a
wonderful book for me. <3

Problematic Faves

(x)

Alright, there was some drama that went down on Twitter today over Alex from All Time Low just recently after something he tweeted, and because this kind of drama seems to happen a lot lately, I decided I wanted to talk about it somewhere where I don’t have a certain number of characters to rant.

So, every once and a while, you might be scrolling on Tumblr, or Twitter or whatever, and you come across something that one of your favorite celebrities/youtubers/favorite famous person said that was rude or messed up or whatever. Of course, there will always be those people who just brush it off, thinking that their favorite celebrity is always perfect and makes no mistakes whatsoever, so this is not that big of a deal. (Either that, or they just don’t want to address it, fearing that people will say that they’re not a ‘real fan’ for calling out someone who said something stupid or hurtful.)

Let me just say, first off, there’s nothing wrong with calling out someone for saying something that is hurtful or rude or whatever and telling them how it might be offensive to someone. “BUt Ur nOT a REaL FaN iF yoU saY tHEy DiD sOMeThiNG wRoNG!!1” Okay, but listen up; it takes exactly $0.00 to admit that your 'fave is problematic'. Everyone says stupid things. Admitting that your favorite celebrity messed up doesn’t make you a bad fan, it means that you’re not a mindless fan and don’t just follow someone because you think that everything they do is perfect and could do no wrong. If you think something a celebrity said was messed up, it’s up to you whether you still want to be a fan of them anymore.

Second, a lot of celebrities/people in general lately like to use the phrase “I’m sorry you got offended :))))” and then just go on with their day, acting like they did nothing wrong. That’s not a valid apology. All that does is push the blame of what THEY did on to the person that was hurt by the thing they said/did or whoever told them that what they said was wrong, and that’s a messed up way to deal with a situation. (For example, suppose you saw a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter and you ate them all. If someone came up to you and told you that was wrong, you wouldn’t respond with ‘oh well, it’s your fault for not locking the cookies up in a safe place far, far away from me.”) If someone does react that way, don’t accept their ‘apology’ and just move on, if they messed up, they need to own up to their own mistakes. (Especially considering they’re a celebrity, and are held up to higher standards with so many people looking up to them. By now, they should know how to act on social media.)

If they actually cared, they would apologize formally and admit they did something wrong and say that they’ve learned that what they said was wrong and that they won’t do it again. If you’re going to judge someone based on something they did wrong, judge them on how they reacted to the situation and how they owned up to their mistakes and took responsibility for their own actions. It shows a lot about them as a person.

Another thing, just because they did apologize doesn’t automatically make what they said okay. If a burglar robbed a bank, the cop wouldn’t let them go, money and all if they simply said ‘sorry’. They were the ones that said something wrong, and they can’t go back and fix it, but they can learn from their mistakes.

This does apply to everyone in your life, but I wanted to make this about celebrities/youtubers in the meantime, because this always gets brought up in my timeline whenever somebody famous says something wrong, and I’m getting really tired of watching people pick sides.

Anywho, that’s all. Just watch how people act, how they own up to the dumb things they say, don’t be a mindless fan, and have a fantastic day.

~    ~    ~

((ALSO I WILL BE RESPONDING TO COMMENTS SOON. YOU GUYS LEFT SUCH LOVELY COMMENTS ON THE LAST POST, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH, I JUST HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO RESPONDING YET. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY. <3))

On With the Show

☁

So remember when I said I would finally put up that tag post as soon as I

got back? You all have permission to punch me in the face now.

Honestly, this past week hasn't been the best.

It's not like I'm tired or anything I just...can't do anything.

I was planning to do so much when I got back, but really I've done nothing

but sit in my bed with a cup of tea, some crayons, and my old coloring

books. But, since I haven't posted anything in weeks, and since I'm lonely,

I decided to come back and try and get a post up. 

~     ~     ~

Can we just talk about how gorgeous she is

this is my favorite quote ever from this movie

steven is me

I love these so much

I don't get to talk about PJ enough

He is so underappreciated and doesn't get enough credit for all the things he's made

But I'm so proud of him for Oscar's Hotel, and I can't wait for the series

I wasn't prepared for this

this is so perfect

Same

This week on: More Under-appreciated People

*Cries because Pete Wentz*

Actually me

~     ~     ~

Well it's storming outside again and our internet's probably going to 

go out again, so that's all for now.

Before I go, here's a little playlist of things I've been listening to. 

I might do this more often if you guys like it??? Let me know. Also if you have any suggestions for me, please share, I've been listening to the same songs all summer and I need something else to listen to send help.

Be My Escape - Relient K // A World Alone - Lorde // Anathema - Twenty One Pilots //

Horchata - Vampire Weekend // Just Another Girl - The Killers // Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded  House // Growing Up - Macklemore ft. Ed Sheeran // Pity Party - Melanie Martinez // Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko // First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes (shout out to Waterunderthebridge for introducing me to this song, it's beautiful. <3) // Ruby - Twenty One Pilots // Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade // You Got It - Roy Orbison // The "I" in Lie - Patrick Stump // Razor - Foo Fighters // Bang The Doldrums - Fall Out Boy // Collar Full - Panic! at the Disco

I hope you all have a wonderful day!! Sorry I haven't really

been on much, hopefully none of you died while I was gone or anything.

 Until next post. ^__^

EAT LOTS OF PINEAPPLES,

DRINK LOTS OF WATER, AND READ A WONDERFUL BOOK FOR ME