don't waste your time on snakes and windmills.

this is certainly nothing special, just a mini update post on my life, coming from your local incredibly sentimental sap.

i believe i started this blog when i was about thirteen or fourteen??? gosh, i feel like i have been at least that many different people since i began. i'm turning twenty in just a few weeks and it just dawned on me that i am in the last couple weeks of adolescence and i can't help but feel that i should be something else. something older, more together, someone who has more money, has a somewhat coherent career path. thankfully, those are only feelings, and should does not mean have to, therefore i cannot really beat myself up over the path that i am on now. 

therefore, i have decided to do a little reintroduction, as i am in a position where i am trying to find out where i want to go next, and sometimes that requires stepping back and looking at who and where i am currently. 

i have recently been going by the name mei. i turn 20 years old next thursday. i am an infp/j and a sagittarius. i am currently in the middle of being an english major and an art major in uni, although i have not a clue what i would do with either degree, i just enjoy exploring the paths humanity has taken philosophically. i am incredibly careful at keeping my school life organized with multiple planners and binders and color coded notes with special sections and labels and certain color post-it notes to keep everything together. at the same time, i cannot keep anything else in my life organized to save my life. 

i have not been conscious about how exactly i treat my body until about 3-4 years ago, which is when i started to adore running as well. i do not read or write nearly as much as i used to, but i have been learning to listen better. at the same time, i have learned that my voice deserves a place as much as anyone else's. 

_          _          _ 

twenty years old next week, huh?

a small visual of who i am now

_          _          _

last thing i shall leave you with for now

(mga)

have a wonderful day :)

A Few Smoothie Not-Recipes & Other Thoughts

i call these 'Not-Recipes' because of who i am as a person + due to the fact i have never been good at cooking. i never measure things and i do everything by visual judgement, which has proved to create some disasters, but nonetheless i continue. these are simply lists of ingredients i have thrown into a blender in order to make myself feel better while i work

The VSCO Girl Wannabe

 

this masterpiece came in the beginning of june, when i had just come back from grad and like 

the hopeful soul my heart strives to be, i wanted to become healthier this summer and therefore

concocted this.

all it is: frozen raspberries, frozen blueberries, not coconut water (accidentally lied in the picture)

but coconut milk poured all over that, and then some honey. OH. and frozen strawberries.

 The "I wish I lived in Oregon or California, I'll even take Washington at this Point"

YES those are two of the same picture. NO i do not wish to speak about it. this was made

with a banana just cut up and chucked in the bottom of a blender at 7am, a mix of frozen

blueberries, frozen strawberries, and frozen mango, frozen dragonfruit, and some coconut 

milk again cause sure. 

 The Hiding From Old Classmates

this fabulous drink was a result of me trying to experiment with pineapple for once and therefore is a 

mix of canned pineapple + the juice and everything, just dump the whole thing in, frozen blueberries,

frozen strawberries, coconut milk, honey, a banana, and some blackberries. 10/10

The Soft Girl Listens to Emo Music Once

    oh this beauty?????? another experiment. for this one, you need a banana, honey, coconut milk (see

    my disastrous, expensive trend here), frozen peaches, frozen pineapple, frozen mango, and frozen 

    strawberries. wasn't a bad morning at all. 

 The Middle Aged Crisis But You're 19 and Anxious

this one had a weird texture honestly, but it's for the Health so whatever. this was made with

a fistful of spinach, frozen mango, an apple, canned pineapple, cucumber, and a banana. throw

some blackberries on it to make your day not terrible if you're feeling it. 

_          _          _

i'm getting a car. which is. the strangest thing to me, i never really thought i would make it this far. 

i do have moments of deep regret for choosing my english major, because, although it would give me

more options in the future, i still get an ache deep in my chest when i look at my art school acceptance letters and wonder who would i have been. maybe i'll end up switching anyway. 

i have been rewatching old dan howell liveshows that i used to watch every week back when i was in online school YEARS ago and it's been so refreshing recently to go back and remember that he exists and he is doing so much better. i also remember the fact that i recently bought a pride patch for my backpack and feel better knowing i'm on the way to healing after homophobic trauma as well. he is a wonderful soul. i owe him a whole lot honestly. between him and nathan zed and my own damn self, the future will be better. 

lastly, one of the strangest things to think about is how you will never completely know another human being. how they may never tell you all of their struggles (not all you can see, either), nor 

will you know all of their memories, who they were in the past, who they will become, who they

are to other people. humans don't even entirely know themselves. being alive is the strangest thing. 

anywho

time for another introspection smoothie, i guess

_         _         _

Nandemonaiya - RADWIMPS / Euphoria - BTS / The Good Side - Kina Grannis / Perfect Places - Lorde / Liability (Reprise) - Lorde / Chocolate Jonas LR Remix - The 1975 / Chlorine (19.4326 N, 99.1332 W) - Twenty One Pilots / Leftovers - Dennis Lloyd / Bridges Burn - NEEDTOBREATH / Some Nights - Fun

torn between "bloom where you're planted" and "never settle"

it hasn't quite hit yet? i was elected to be the one to put together my class' graduation video, and it still hasn't hit. tears have been shed for "next year"s and "what if"s and it still has not hit. i am in the process of finding a new editor for the school newspaper next year, and it still hasn't hit. 

maybe it has. i stopped going to the cafeteria for food and have been hiding in my room, holed up with studies and last minute papers, as if my life depended on it. as if it was a defense mechanism. maybe it has. 

i want something to teach me to love what i have, the numbered days i own, the few multitudes that remain from earlier days. people i used to talk to in middle school will message me for grad invites, and none of it feels real. it's as if this is a game we're all playing. we're not really all leaving, are we? when i was younger, one night a senior girl we used to live next to had a small group over until about 3am, and they just sat and talked over a fire under the stars about memories. i could just hear them out my window as i watched the stars that night, practically aching for the feeling of leaving one day. 

i want to construct my own days of gold; i no longer want to wait for those days to me time. i want a drive to work, i want a sense of wonder to explore, i want my discipline to be what pulls me through whatever necessary. i want my tongue to halt before letting it fill my spaces with poison and slander. 

teach me to love what i have, but let me learn to want to go out and fight for a better life in this world. i no longer want my own mind to be the trap that is able to hold me back from so much. i don't want other's eyes to be what grabs at me and tackles me to the ground. 

i have already put together uni plans, bought the grad dress, put together the presentation for leaving, carefully constructed the perfect show for no one to remember me by by the time the next group of four-years roll around. 

i was never a four-year anywhere, but i have heard legends of those who came before me, crawling back to our english teacher and crying out that they have done nothing with their life, and they're already twenty-four.

our english teacher says he just laughs and tells them

"you've only just begun."

☁️     ☁️     ☁️

i am leaving these doors very soon. how lucky am i to be only just beginning.

☁️     ☁️     ☁️

The Man Who Married a Robot - the 1975 | How to Draw - the 1975 | 5:32pm - the deli | Blessings (reprise) - chance the rapper | Outrun - de hofnar & alfie day | hospital bed - cold war kids | lookalike - conan gray | 7000x - judah & the lion

i owe it all to beth.

.

"Recently I was approached by this girl who told me she was a dancer. She really took me by surprise; I had never seen anyone in this world carry themselves with such confidence and grace. What surprised me the most is how she spoke; how she always asked the most incredible questions that no one I knew would ever dare to ask and talked about how beautiful the world is and how the idea of happiness was what made her happy.

To that girl; I know you'll never read this but I was completely taken aback by your passion and confidence. The way you carry yourself and how you love every speck on the earth with every fiber of your being inspired me and made me look at the world at a completely different angle. Without even saying a word about it, you pointed out all the good things left in the world and showed me light in the darkest places. You made me fall in love with the idea of living my life again, and I could never thank you enough for that. Please never let that bright soul of yours lose it's spark, I've seen very, very few people love the world as much as you, and I'm sure you'll go far. You put so much energy and care into what you do, and I hope to find something to fight for the same way you do. I wish you luck with everything."

.

the above was from a number of years ago towards the end of one of many chapters of my life, to a girl who unknowingly changed my life. to this day she continues to show me better things, as well as many people in my life lately. 

one who brings stories and poetry inspired by the people around her to life, leaving me in awe every time, while also always being there for pep talks and late night calls that'll make you laugh until you end up with a bowl of corn all over your carpet. 

another who has a visual mind like no other, who will create worlds out of nothing with the most beautiful color and attention to detail, who loves deeper than i could have ever thought possible.

another who will sass you to death, but has a big heart and will always listen to any problem you bring to him. 

one who shows you that it's totally okay to be a kid at heart, and she'll teach you that skipping the water slide to sit in the hot tub solely to look cool to the other kids is never the route to take. 

one with a need for adventure and seeing new things and while you're on road trips together will stop at random hotels just to listen to the history of the batman party they have held there for years.

and another who is beyond loyal and sturdy as a mountain, who gives the greatest hugs and has the most incredible creative mind, who always has story ideas and song lyrics swirling around in his mind and has the biggest heart of anyone i've ever known with countless dreams and goals.

.

graduation, the end of summer camps, the end of a job, the end of an era, flights and drives back home. these things hardly seem to pass without leaving a bitter taste it feels like, because the older you get, the farther your friends feel, and the harder it is to maintain friendships and relationships. somehow it has become a blessing in itself, when you're able to truly appreciate when your people are right there with you, and the late, rare calls you get in between visits between classes and work that tug at your heart a little bit. whether it feels like it or not, the days you have in the space that you are with the people that you have are numbered, and if you are one of the people who get to see their loved ones every day, you are truly beyond lucky. 

love the people you're with as much as you can, with all of your heart. make sure they know. 

things you'll learn + for future reference

home is relative. and you'll become enamored of the idea of it, whether in the people you meet or the places you think about whenever things seem like they're going downhill. home will change for you, and so will the people and the things that you hold close, but like your dwellings throughout your childhood, you will always have a safe place somewhere.

apathy is pointless. not caring is pointless. you're not growing and you're not letting life in your heart and though putting parts of yourself out there is terrifying, you will never change and you will never grow if you don't.

if everything is horrible, call the people far away and listen to them talk about their film classes and what they think about faith or listen to them play piano while you sing along hundreds of miles away.

one of the greatest things you can do for yourself in these vulnerable times is to surround yourself with those who will teach you how important confidence in who you are and your abilities really are.

speaking and people are not as terrifying as your mind makes it seem. you'll become comfortable with it and one day you will learn that it's not bad for people to listen or care.

think for yourself.

your idols will change.

tell people that you love them.

keep making art.

support your friends' art.

be enthusiastic about life and all the things.

be kinder to your old self.

we call this place home.

a year ago you met a girl full of spite in a classroom dedicated to everything she had rejected for years. today you held her while she wrote lines dedicated to all the stories discarded in fury. fairy lights twinkled in the background while laughter over chess games erupted in the living room. she vows that fear won't take her anymore; at least it won't hold her back in the same way.

the same mantra that growth is never linear still holds true and though you told yourself that you finally are growing now, you've been growing all along and now it's beginning to show.

"you're beginning to blossom and i am very proud of you, you know that?"

"thank goodness my house here got sick of me and made me leave."

"yeah, thank goodness."

"Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!"

_     _     _

You can pinpoint the very day you first picked up that tale; and that’s all it ever was to you, a tale. And you slandered it mercilessly, as if it was yours to pour over with calumny, the sour words trickling off your tongue.

“There is no life in me,” he cried, shaking his fist in the candlelit room. “And I am exhausted. Exhausted and tired of returning to a place every single week where everyone is dead.” You nod ferociously in assent, poised as one of the living, but they all knew that you laid in darkness along with every other corpse.

He told the tale of the brittle bones that were once again granted, by the grace of a wild flame, feeble steps outside from their graves if they were to serve for this army, and he then told us we should not be intimidated by death. He told you that in this tale, there was no one left to bring the bodies home, because everyone was left for dead, and if we were to continue this way, there would be no one left to find what was once in our bones. We should not be intimidated by death. 

“Your cynicism is merely a pose,” he shouted again. “This is not who we were meant to be, this is not who you’re supposed to be. I can’t change this for you, and you can save everyone on your own. But you know who to go to when the bones are left on their own.”

The fire in him is evident, and you will envy it for the rest of your days. It pours out over everyone he’s ever loved, and he has more life in him than the rest of you could ever aspire to. You know this is more than a tale.

There is no life in me.

There is no life in you.

But surely, 

He will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 

And Now Today's Episode of "Lost"

you know when you don't mean to write a novel and you write a novel? well.

There's this page called "Humans of New York" on tumblr and facebook (and possibly other places, i dunno, but these two are definitely a work of art, 20/10) and there's this particular post where this one lady on the streets of New York talks about passion and how she has done well, but has never found her passion. Now in the comments, there's this one particular person who speaks their piece on this case of feeling lost and not knowing where or how to find a path in life in general.

The future is terrifying. The unknown is terrifying. Not knowing where you want to go while you step onto this roller coaster that, from your perspective, is headed straight into a cloud of fog with millions of different paths with potential other cars that could collide straight into you just turns this whole unknown thing into a whole new bag of nope. Feelings of being lost and not knowing which path to head towards in the first place always has the potential of sending you either a.) on the wrong path or worse, b.) keep you from going anywhere at all.

People often tell you to "just follow your passions and dreams" and to "just go with your gut" when it comes to your future while simultaneously subtly telling you that you can only ever have one passion to chase and that if your passion doesn't make an impact on the world on a substantial scale or isn't practical, your passions aren't worth chasing and there's always those feelings of "if I don't make my dream job, I've failed".

Armand Michael says about passion in the sea of comments,

 "Everyone talks about their “passion” as if it’s some pre-determined thing that’s somewhere out there waiting for you.

I don’t believe there are careers or hobbies you were meant to have any more than there are people you were “destined” to be with. I’ve been in enough relationships to understand that, yes, you can fit really well with someone, that fate can appear to have aligned perfectly for your getting together, but the success of the relationship is still dependent on your own decisions and how hard you’re willing to work for it. The same is true about your “passion”.

 I study neuroscience; I want to go into research. I could have just as easily (if not more easily) become a writer, simply because I absolutely love writing. In college, I often enjoyed my writing classes more than my science classes. In fact, if money wasn’t an issue, I might have chosen to become a writer instead

Does that mean I’m not following my passion by choosing a career in science over writing? No. Because I could never give up science. I could never give up my curiosity and desire to learn about the world, and the opportunity to actually be on the forefront of that discovery.

Your passion is what you put your energy into. It’s what you decide, consciously or not (but sometimes it has to be consciously!), to care about, to strive towards, to give your life to. It is a reflection of you and not of whatever the actual subject of your interest is. It can change.

People forget that “passion” doesn’t describe the object of your devotion; it describes the energy and emotion you invest in that object. People who jump from career to career, actively searching for something they can enjoy doing, can very well be exhibiting just as much passion as someone who’s stayed in the same career all their lives and loved every day of it."

Here's the deal about passions and goals: they are always evolving. There will be obstacles. You will have to work hard for it. You are going to feel some days that there are others better at your craft. You are going to be just fine.

As terrifying as it is to start out working in a local restaurant as a dish washer, chase a doctorate degree, study english, create, go into...I dunno, botany maybe, letting fear hold you back from that or letting fear hold you back from starting to find where you want to go in the first place will just keep you from experiencing so many incredible things, even if you do fail. And you will. Don't let it get to your head that you can only have one passion either; Mae Jemison was both a dancer and an astronaut and even has done acting as well as just being an incredible woman in general. As for not knowing where to go, thankfully the universe is generous with second chances when you start down paths that aren't the best for you.

The future is terrifying. and wonderful. and it's such an incredible privilege to have the opportunity to utilize that unknown into discovering and shaping a world you want to create for yourself.

you've got this.

_   _   _

mood: "be happy like dogs"

can you believe that these boys are real and travelling the world making incredible things and inspiring people everywhere? some days i'm really happy that stressed out got popular just so

the world can know my boys

the funny thing is about these kinds of disjointed posts is the older i get, the less purpose 

or value i see in them, and yet i want to do more because they've become one of the few things

 in my life that actually need any structure or a monumental amount of effort, y'know?

a.k.a. there's no such thing as wasted time as long as it makes you happy and builds you up

she says, wistfully staring at the pile of work shes supposed to be doing.

things that have happened + life lessons from the past couple months or so:

1. prom(ish) i guess was a thing?? except the theme was an anti-prom kind of thing, so that was a wild experience.

2. witnessing josh dun in a hamster ball was probably the greatest thing that has ever happened

3. speaking in front of groups larger than 40 people is spooky scary, but do it anyway. or just slap down a massive blank sheet of paper and markers and tell the group to say what they appreciate in life, because nobody has the time to put in the effort to be inspirational

4. walking through airports on your own is wild and actually incredible sometimes

5. getting slapped in the face with the realization that the people who get to see the people they love every day are so so incredibly lucky hurts but sometimes is necessary

6. basketball season was a thing that happened and is now over and im a lil bit sad about that

7. I SAW A MUSICAL. AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE. IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, IT IS BEAUTIFUL. 

8. drawing with ink pens is difficult and art classes often make me feel like crying, but i'm learning to be positive from my drawing partner and she's becoming the reason i look forward to art now

9. two hour phone calls back home to your parents can actually be fun. appreciate the people around you, kids

because i dont remember exactly what i used to put in these posts, have some things from my picture folders

in case you didnt know, this is my idol right here

and heres a few tweets from an archive of the most innocent corners of the internet years ago

appreciate the boiling parsnip owl with me

and one of my many favorite messages ever.

_    _    _

its strange when you go back to the place you call home and suddenly feel homesick for the

place you were dreading being sent off too. sometimes its difficult to pinpoint exactly what i

call home with memories pinned to all these distinct places on this earth.

anywho, i made this post a while ago and now i'm supposed to be doing homework again but

dorms are loud and eating spicy noodles while staring at the stars while talking with people you care about a whole lot is so much more important, so hello!!!

things are well.

the old stars are back.

and so are some old wonderful feelings

and these spicy noodles are making my eyes water.

i hope you are doing well.

appreciate the people around you, kids. no matter where you are in the world, with the way we live in this era, home is always closer than you think.

Until home again;

do you ever just lay in bed and think about how much you adore your friends

like even the ones you don't talk to anymore or you've drifted away from, do you ever just sit and think of how incredibly lucky you are to be existing right here, in this wide vast universe with all it's wild coincidences, at this very moment, and to be lucky enough to live with the memory locked in your head of the time you were sad all day but your friend came to sit with you during dinner and made paper airplanes out of napkins in the cafeteria and told you he loved you too while leaving.

or the time you spent watching basketball games and you spent the whole time laughing so hard with your group that you fell over and broke the auditorium stage somehow and yet still kept on laughing.

or the times you spent together in comfortable silence watching the rain together while leaning your head on each others shoulders, sharing each others' lunch in the dreary weather and keeping each other warm

or even just texting each other until 4am talking about all the secrets of the universe and do you think parallel worlds exist and what makes your heart beat with joy and why do you think we were all put here and whats your favorite memory with your parents when you were young

the people i have met over time, whether i still talk to them or not, have smiles who could make flowers grow, have the most beautiful sparkles in their eyes, have the most passionate, kindest hearts, and its because of these kinds of people i still have hope. i'm so very far from home. i'm so very lucky to have met people who truly feel like home.

i didn't mean to get so emotional tonight i guess, but hour long phone calls from home can fly by in an instant and can tug at your heart a whole lot sometimes. i got to make a lot of new memories with wonderful people this week and feel so much closer to them while also reminiscing with friends i haven't talked to in what feels like years

to each and every one of them; i miss you. i love you so much and you have no idea how lucky i am to have met such talented human beings all with the tendency to remind each other how much they love each of their friends constantly. until home again, we'll finish that list together one day.

to the ones i haven't talked to in ages; until home again, my heart aches for you.

_          ☁          _

fun fact: building tiny houses is actually a whole lot of fun and working in construction isn't actually terrible after all. try new things, kiddos. 

this week's playlist

the lonely mountains -  kim janssen // promise - ben howard // terrified - issac gracie // ride - twenty one pilots & mutemath // behind the sea (alt. version) - panic! at the disco // if you like it or not - the brobecks // 99 luftballoons - nena // someone to stay - vancouver sleep clinic // seventeen - alessia cara

week one: flaming cheetos and root beer cans are my only friend

homesickness is a funny thing i think. leaving home even if its only for a couple years feels strange.

because 1. there are so many things to explore. there's people to meet, all this new knowledge at your fingertips and there's nothing stopping you now from going out to grab it but yourself, and there's new sights to see, new feelings to feel. it's impossible to imagine colors you've never seen before, and now it feels like they're all here and you're chasing after them the best you can and everything's grown to become nothing but an overwhelming blur of colors you've never heard of before.

2. you never really realized before how little prepared you were to deal with everything. the feelings, your financial state, awful wifi (like seriously, why), working out shower routines with your roommate, taping up pictures in your bedroom in a weak attempt to make it yours, the conversations with the war veterans in the airports when your flights delayed, all the perspectives of everyone else and all their backgrounds being mushed together into this one place where you're meant to live together for a while.

3. finding out just how young you are and how little you actually know in the grand scheme of things is very grounding. maybe you got comments growing up, "you'll understand when you're older," but then you get older and you understand nothing.

and in the middle of all this newness there's always that invisible string that keeps you tied to your home and sometimes it accidentally pulls at your gut and drags you backwards a bit. sometimes it hurts.

when does this "older" thing happen even, when do you get to the point where you understand even a smidgen of the universe to the point where you can feel emotionally stable and not start panicking standing in the middle of a brand new town all by yourself with no one you know? has anyone made it to that point? where are they so they can give us all a visit and show us how to make it through the day without tripping and falling into a wall??

_ _ _

in other news, I've finally found a new job, classes are going well, no one's gotten murdered, I've got cheesy little planet + stars + spaceship stickers all over my room and a thriving cactus I dragged all the way to my new bedroom, and I even managed to make friends. i'd call this first week of all this a success so far

I guess a person is  t e c h n i c a l l y  supposed to introduce themselves at the beginning of something, but hello!!! to sum all that this is up; i'm kelsey, i'm like 4 years old at this point, and i recently took a plane to exchange schools in a new place to take classes and try to experience a little more of the world. am i actually going to survive until the end of this? will i ever get decent pictures of the campus to show?? will i ever get my sleeping schedule in order? ?   ?      ?

well kids, find out on the next installment of "Help, I Am A Child & Don't Understand How To Fill Out Tax Forms"

hello (darkness my old friend)

it's been quite a while since anything's actually been touched on this blog, incredible, it feels all new and special again

ayyy, so my name is Kelsey and surprisingly enough, I can't even count the times I've tried to open this blog and left without fail, nice to meet you!!!!

it's been a wild past few *patrick stump voice* CENTURIEEESSS months, and as of recently, I wanted to reopen this for I found out that I'm doing a school exchange program (I'm a small child and cannot be trusted in a new town all by myself, I am not Adult™ enough, send multiple ambulances) and I wanted to possibly try to document this in some way?

It won't be happening until early January, so there's going to be some time until I actually start posting on here, but since it's been actual months since I've opened this (and everything's different again, who at Google do I fight, they completely redid everything), I decided to try and get back into something that resembles the old routine on here

this is definitely getting the award for the absolute worst introduction post, especially as a "yooo, i never told you i was leaving in the first place--psych. (cue the awkward + apologetic finger guns @ literally nobody)" post, but by the time I get on the plane in January, the blog will probably get a decent makeover (watch it end up getting back that old black star background for nostalgia's sake, yikes) and there'll be a new intro post that had effort put into it, whoopdedoo

anywho, (THEY FINALLY COUNT "ANYWHO" AS AN ACTUAL WORD ON HERE, DO YOU HEAR THE ANGELS SING) this should be quite the adventure.

looking forward to coming back to dump random, cheesy paragraphs on here (again)

can you believe this gif still is in my folders, its a beautiful day

Take a chill pill, your honor

(a much better quality, actually finished version of this will be coming once life calms down)

 I call this piece "When you have roughly 5,603 missed calls and voicemails to answer and probably ~3,000,000,000 emails you really should've answered a long time ago and you ~kinda~ feel like slingshotting yourself into the sun, but you CAN'T because you promised you would babysit tonight and you have about 17 different people who are angry at you who you should've apologized to about three years ago, but you haven't because, you know, that one meeting you had to go to and then you had a whole long apology written up and then you were too scared to send it and then you  f o r g o t  because you fell asleep and then had to go to your brother's spelling bee competition and then your family decided to go on vacation at the worst time possible because you have finals due in like two weeks and you haven't even started studying, but your friend you haven't talked to in a while messages you and you end up talking for hours and by the end of that it's Sunday again and you realize tomorrow's Monday and you just sort of"

_          _          _

Sunday nights can be a little rough remembering that you have a whole week ahead of you, and judging from what a lot of you have said in the past week, I feel like a lot of you could use a hug. I really hope you guys doing okay out there, I really hope this week is better for you.

_          _          _

this week's playlist
My Fault - Imagine Dragons | Berlin - RY X | Love - Daughter | She Had The World - Panic! at the Disco | Home - Johnnyswim | Flesh and Bone - Keaton Henson | You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Keaton Henson | One of Those Things - Tom Rosenthal and Paul Haworth | Journey OST

my favorite things I've overhead strangers say

"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

"You're not 'telling it like it is' you're telling it how you see it."

"So tell me, what is curiosity not?"

"Everyone's art is beautiful in their own way because its something we put a bit of our souls in."

"Why are you lying about not having a heart? I've seen it."

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My favorite thing about going to an online school was that I got to spend the majority of my time in various coffee shops and libraries to do my work. I feel like I've learned more about people by eavesdropping conversations more than I ever will in a school of a group of exhausted, agonized teens, but I still feel like I should learn to stop listening in on other people's business so often. One day I'll learn

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this week's playlist
Dial Tones - AS IT IS | Fast Car - Tracy Chapman | Be Good - Max Brodie and Tom Rosenthal | How To Never Stop Being Sad - dandelion hands | Every Age - Jose Gonzales | Plant Life - Owl City | Flowers Bloom - High Highs | Fear and Loathing - Marina and the Diamonds | Float On - Modest Mouse | The World At Large - Modest Mouse | No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses | Coming Home Part II - Skylar Grey | Homewrecker - Marina and the Diamonds | Constellations - Tom Odell | Misguided Ghosts - Paramore | Jesus Christ - Brand New | The entire Folie album
(the transition between The World At Large and Float On and the meaning behind those two songs and that whole album makes me so incredibly happy. I love those songs so, so much, wow)